No fair! Those guys ripped off what we rightfully stole!

Ask yourself: 'Do I feel the need to laminate?' Then teaching is for you.

When we lock things away," he said with conviction, "we're really imprisoning ourselves.

The dog always dies. Go to the library and pick out a book with an award sticker and a dog on the cover. Trust me, that dog is going down.

If it isn't on YouTube, it might as well have never happened.

Ask me. I'm a cow expert.

In our family, you don't get a childhood. We're too busy trying to dominate the world.

The thing about a cavity search is this: it has nothing to do with the dentist.

What did Romeo and Juliet do?” They died,” I remind her gently. “Some mix-up with the poison-

Don't think of it as losing a boyfriend. Think of it as gaining a stalker." -Dan Cahill

I hate France. It's like the whole country's on a diet

The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.

I feel vulnerable every single time I step into a classroom. I feel completely exposed.

How shall we praise the magnificence of the dead, The great man humbled, the haughty brought to dust?

A passionate attachment of one nation for another produces a variety of evils

The biggest advantage to believing in God is you don't have to understand anything, no physics, no biology. I wanted to understand.

When I started working with mirrors, it seemed to be the perfect material to stand in for that waiting.

It's a good idea to prioritize your life and not making drinking the top priority. I think there are aspects of it that definitely illuminate bad decisions and how they'll negatively affect you.

You know what I'm afraid of? That God is sick of us.

Penology...has become torture and foolishness, a waste of money and a cause of crime...a blotting out of sight and heightening of social anxiety.

[C]ourage is reckoned the greatest of all virtues; because, unless a man has that virtue, he has no security for preserving any other.