No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning.

I believe that I have such a vanilla life.

I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA.

I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment.

No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken.

As a reader, I notice political views regardless of whether or not the book is fiction. What annoys me is when said views do nothing to advance the narrative.

In real life, I tend to yell at people a lot. Not because I'm bossy or mean, but because I'm frustrated.

I don't mean to get all religious here, but I'm pretty sure key lime martinis (with a graham cracker & sugar rim) are proof that Jesus loves us.

Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.

For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased.

Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.

Everything is good as it comes from the hands of the Maker of the world, but degenerates once it gets into the hands of man

Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.

Never feel sorry for me, just teach me and watch me grow.

Do something you really like, and hopefully it pays the rent. As far as I'm concerned, that's success.

If tomorrow we decided only to desist from killing and causing suffering for sport and entertainment, the world would be significantly better for animals. Even this we have failed to achieve.

Lazy and superficial men and women do not produce superior work.

No metaphysician has yet shaken the ordinary individual's belief in his own existence. The uncertainties only begin for most of us when we ask what else is.

If everything you do works, then you're not taking many risks and probably aren't innovating either.

Handel is only fourth rate. He's not even interesting.

I would be an idiot to say comedy is easy, but it does come naturally. It never feels forced.