No matter how bad you may feel, get up, show up, dress up, and never, ever give up.

Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned. May not one lost soul be permitted to abstain?

If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.

Those who do not love life do not deserve it.

A well-balanced person is one who finds both sides of an issue laughable.

I love the puzzled look on people's faces when I mention I grew up telling time according to television.

The wise man of Miletus thus declared the first of things is water

When Jim Carrey signed on to star in [The Cable Guy], and then they asked me to produce it, I made a very brief plea to direct - which was rejected really as quickly as anything can be.

Be strong! It matters not how deep entrenched the wrong, how hard the battle goes, the day how long, faint not, fight on! Tomorrow comes the song.

If 10% is good enough for Jesus, it oughta be enough for Uncle Sam.

In all of my fights, it is a learning experience. I would know afterwards what I need to improve on and what skills I need to maintain. This will make me a better fighter.