No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Cam and I just broke up."Cam laughed, hugging me even tighter into his side.I huffed, trying to wriggle free. "What are you doing?""Getting back together with you.

When a man is in despair, it means that he still believes in something.

Any time there's something so ridiculously dangerous that no rational human being would try it, they send for me.' --Garion

You have to learn to do everything even to die.

I never stop looking for things to try and make myself better.

Not all ants use violence to dominate their world, some use more subtle methods.

Are we at some kind of evolutionary equipoise as a species? Or, are we destined to become something different - something, perhaps, even better adapted to the environment?

A crush is just as simple as admiration. You get attracted to another person and time can allow feelings to grow more into something more than that.

Chess is a contest between two men which lends itself particularly to the conflicts surrounding aggression.

Why is it that if you happen to be black and over six feet tall, everybody thinks you supposed to play basketball or football?