No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

When God lays His finger on your heart it cannot help but be filled with love for others

If Hitler hadn't turned against their beloved Stalin, liberals would have stuck by him, too.

Were there no uniforms, there would probably be no armies.

Money confers the power to command the labor of others. Love of money is love of power. And love of power is the root of evil.

You smell like crap so I know you don't like soap.

We have garlic days, and onion days. You know what they're cooking.

The Republicans think they have a corner on morality.

Given the loss of a child or the birth of a child or anything like that, I think it's just I'm more moved by life, the older I get, so it's easier to connect to the characters that I play.

Dr Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan served this country well, he did not celebrate his birthday, he celebrated it for teachers.

There were never going to be any happy endings for me. I know that now. But that is all right.