No one - apart from my agent, perhaps - should leave one of my shows in tears.

It may be an old cliche, but I think true love will last; it has no end. But finding the right person is a very difficult thing.

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

When a performer doesn't get nervous, that is when you have to give up.

Puerto Rico is one of those places you can be as quiet or as crazy as you want, because there's so much nightlife. I have to take the craziness carefully.

You can shuffle my deck any day!

It could still be a good night if you play your cards right.

I don't do close-ups any more. I am better looking from the waist downwards.

Nice to see you, to see you nice

It gets harder every day to get out of bed. I don't feel like it loads of the time. It is only my exercise routine which wakes me up.

There are enough tears in any child's life; we certainly don't need to add to them in the name of entertainment.

If you can't be pretty, at least be nice.

Peer mediation is a chance for students to work with other students to help them resolve problems, arguments, disagreements without having to get the teacher or the administration involved.

I do believe we slander Christ when we think we are to draw the people by something else but the preaching of Christ crucified.

I have huge hands and feet. I'm 5'6" and wear a size 10 shoe.

I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.

While men are gazing up to Heaven, imagining after a happiness, or fearing a Hell after they are dead, their eyes are put out, that they see not what is their birthright.

Don Quixote was a song for a 1969 Michael Douglas movie called Hail Hero! I wrote the title song for the film and they also used the Don Quixote one I had submitted.

Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.

It's more important to be in right relationship than it is to be right.

Winning Strategists are certain of triumph before seeking a challenge. Losing Strategists are certain to challenge before seeking a triumph.