No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Whatever is done for love always occurs beyond good and evil.

Hitler is a shy and friendly man with artistic tastes and gifts.

Play not for gain, but sport. Who plays for more Than he can lose with pleasure, stakes his heart; Perhaps his wife's too, and whom she hath bore.

That's a great team we lost to. It just wasn't our day.

The chance to own a home; chance to own an education; chance to get access to capital. This is the real civil rights battle of the twenty-first century.

If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages, maybe take an animal degree.

If religion comprises rules you follow, faith is demonstrated by the actions you take.

I love hip-hop; I love Sleigh Bells. I also love classical music and musical theater.

I dare say that quite a few people have contemplated death for reasons that much later seemed to them to be quite minor.

As I continue to mature and navigate the world, there are so many myths that are dispelled for me.