No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

When someone blushes, doesn't that mean 'yes'?

Hold love like a butterfly, with gentle preservation. Hold life like the reigns of a wild stallion, with fierce assertion. Encompass that, and you find the nectar of the immortal spirit.

What you repeatedly do carries the clay to mold you into who you eventually become. Don’t despise any tiny minute of the day

Here hath been dawning another blue day: think wilt thou let it slip useless away?

Waiting is a period of learning. The longer we wait, the more we hear about him for whom we are waiting.

We have a government that, generally speaking, does not respond to the people.

I'm very focused on "Dexter" right now. I want to make it as good of a show as we can.

The Man who works for others, without any selfish motive, really does good to himself.

It does not matter what your personal deficiency, or whether it be a hundred and one different things, God has always one sufficient answer, His Son Jesus Christ, and he is the answer to every need.

I want to know what you're thinking, you want to know what I'm thinking. But we're alone. In our own minds. We're trapped in this sort of isolation.