No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.

The best things in life aren't things.

People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time.

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

The things that matter most are not things.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.

Trust is the strongest weapon.

When your absence is felt, your presence is the essence and it makes a difference.

Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose, and terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.

Human beings are definitely changing the planet, but how much impact they are having on climate, I don't know and I don't care.

The blood, the fountain whence the spirits flow The generous stream that waters every part, And motion, vigor, and warm life conveys To every particle that moves or lives.

Some guys are admired for coming to play, as the saying goes. I prefer those who come to kill.

Marvel movies, are seeming slightly less exciting now that Star Wars has appeared and everything.

If by being overstudious, we impair our health and spoil our good humor, let us give it up.

Hey, ay, ay, ay...smoke weed everyday.

A peaceful mind generates power.