No one ever thinks about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

When love writes a letter, joy is its ink.

Love is a struggle, hard to get and hard to leave.

Hate does that. Burns off everything but itself, so whatever your grievance is, your face looks just like your enemy's.

Education is not just about going to school and getting a degree. It's about widening your knowledge and absorbing the truth about life.

I like to be able to connect with people. And that's how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To me, it makes my night more interesting.

Try to read books about meditation, but not so many different viewpoints that they get confusing. There is no best way. It's just what works for you at the time.

When you go into the planes of light, all of the incorrect ways of seeing and understanding life that you pick up are washed away.

Creation is ready to serve you, if you just be you.

Waste of resources is a mortal sin at IKEA.

Thou sufferest justly: for thou choosest rather to become good to-morrow than to be good to-day.