No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

It doesn’t matter, ” said Adrian, smiling. He rested a hand on my shoulder. “Some things are worth the trouble.

I wish If you stayed much longer !

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

People can love their lies, tell their lies, believe their own lies until hell pays a visit.

God shapes the world by prayer. The more prayer there is in the world the better the world will be, the mightier the forces of against evil

Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?

Build up virtue, and you master all.

What is the main problem of the actor? It is to keep the audience awake, and not let them go to sleep, then wake up and go home feeling they've wasted their money.

Boast quietly, with decorum.

Day One of my life was the day I met you.