No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Great leadership has more to do with character, courage, and conviction than it does with specific skills or competencies.

Poor sleepers should endeavor to compose themselves. Tampering with empty space, stirring up echoes in pitch-black pits of darkness is scarcely sedative.("Out Of The Deep")

They are les misérables - the outcasts, the underdogs. And who is to blame? Is it not the most fallen who have most need of charity?

To pattern government after a kingdom is not to reflect the heavenly vision of God’s kingdom

Self-denial is not a virtue it is only the effect of prudence on rascality.

Vanity and dignity are incompatible with each other; vain women are almost sure to be vulnerable.

May our prayers today, and every day, be from our hearts and with the focus of our whole being.

You perform at your best when you are working continually on high-priority goals and objectives.

I get a lot of credit for having succeeded as a Latina in this world, and I am not that. I appreciate it, but I'm Italian. And that does happen a lot.

I have a shield. It's the most amazing shield ever. I don't see them. I don't feel them. If anything, "Hey come over, let me touch you so I can heal you." You get what I'm saying?