No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

To be a good ruler one must be the best of servants.

A good motto is: use friendliness but do not use your friends.

Intentions are the triggers for transformation in the body. If you want to wiggle your toes, you do it through intention.

Once freedom is equated with a certain material standard of living, confiscation becomes the path to liberation.

People often assume New York City is no place to keep a dog. This is certainly what my parents told me when I was growing up there. But I have found this not to be the case at all.

I know he is younger than me, but I absolutely love Zac Efron. His hair is always so pretty.

We've barley stepped into the bright glow of the realms when everything goes dark.

The man form is higher than the angel form; of all forms it is the highest. Man is the highest being in creation, because he aspires to freedom.

It takes a lot of energy to dull the soul and not hear its voice

My moral standing is lying down.