No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.

I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.

The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.

Screw pretty. I'd rather be strong. Pretty fades over time. Strength gets you through the bad shit.

I'm a vague conjunctured personality more made up of opinions and academic prepossessions than of human traits and red corpuscles.

I used to try to draw my girlfriends. I think one of the most romantic things that anybody can do is draw a portrait of the person you love.

Tout est poison, rien n'est poison, tout est une question de dose. Everything is poisonous, nothing is poisonous, it is all a matter of dose.

My decision to leave 'Ween', however interpreted, was absolutely not made in haste.

Were not one thing, as human beings, so any character that is written uni-dimensional, thats just a shallow character with shallow writing and shallow acting.

We come from an inconceivable nothingness. We stay a while in something which seems equally inconceivable, only to vanish again into the inconceivable nothingness.

I tried to make it as real for them as possible. The thing about being reality is that reality is not always fun. They did a big piece of growing up that day.

This book (the Bible) is not hard to understand. It's just hard to swallow.

A beauty masked, like the sun in eclipse, gathers together more gazers than if it shined out.