No storyteller has been able to dream up anything as fantastically unlikely as what really does happen in this mad Universe.

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

It is in the nature of the mind that the more we cultivate and familiarize ourselves with positive emotions, the more powerful they become.

And they lived ever after, whether they were happy about it or not.

You can’t cheat if there are no rules

It's a job. I entertain my readers. I get up in the morning, and I start typing.

Exercise should be regarded as tribute to the heart.

I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named "Jihad." Or as the TSA put it, "Hope you like Amtrak!

Grief can choke you. It’s dangerous, something else you have to beat.

Republican voters are fed up with Democrats and Democrat policy.

After eighteen years of being utterly ordinary, I finally found that I can shine" -Bella Swan <3

I have had brown hair and bangs since I was 2. One year I dyed it blonde, which felt so weird.