Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

Acknowledging that all our land was stolen from Native people feels like too great a burden, so we create an alternative reality that allows us to disengage emotionally from the truth.

Tree planting is always a utopian enterprise, it seems to me, a wager on a future the planter doesn't necessarily expect to witness.

The most urgent domestic challenge facing the United States at the close of the 20th century is the re-creation of fatherhood as a social role for men.

Socialism destroys the incentive to produce, dampens the human spsirit and results, ultimately , in less for everyone.

It is the teacher - what the teacher knows and can do - that is the most significant factor in student achievement.

Life is sweetest when it could go away tomorrow.

A bar would not be a good career move for you.

We may admire people for being wise, but we like them best when they are foolish.

I couldn't stop looking at the award when I received it. It was as if my whole career flashed in front of me, from beginning to the moment I was handed the Golden Globe.

In modern industrial society only minimal effort is necessary to satisfy one's physical needs.