Nobody can imitate me. You can always see impersonations of Katharine Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. But not me. Because I've always drawn on myself only.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

I think that the most important thing a woman can have - next to talent, of course - is her hairdresser.

Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite ta a party.

If you have an ounce of common sense and one good friend you don't need an analyst.

Care for your clothes, like the good friends they are

I never go outside unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door.

Well, we can skip childhood because I didn't have any. Not one goddam moment on the Good Ship Lollipop.

Make your wardrobe as versatile as an actress. It should be able to play many roles.

Be afraid of nothing.

[To the mother of two unruly children in a restaurant after the woman said she really didn't know what to do with her children:] Have you tried infanticide?

You can either practice being right or practice being kind.

A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses. If you are generous, you will gain everything.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.

There is a divergence between private and social accounting that the market fails to register. One essential task of law and government is to institute the necessary conditions.

Short form media is reductionist by nature.

It's not that the grass is greener on the other side, it's that you can never be on both sides of the lawn at the same time.

Sometimes you can learn things from the way a person denies something. The choice of lies can be almost as helpful as the truth.

I'm saying that there's absolutely no conclusive evidence that Jesus ever really existed, even as a mortal. I don't believe he was a historical figure at all.

Love is hope. Hope is nectar.