Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!'

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Isn't it ironic that a nightmare can masquerade as a dream?

You were the only blessing I think, I didn't deserve at first place.

I haven't always been thrilled with my work. But the fear of not proving the people wrong who think you can't emerge from a franchise and do well, that's a very strong driving force.

I love doing both theater and television. I definitely foresee more Broadway, but I think I would like to keep the singing and the TV separate.

I would be content if I had nothing but a tape-recorder. I could still write songs and record them

Scheherezade is easy; a little black dress is difficult.

Do nothing in haste; look well to each step; and from the beginning think what may be the end.

The Electoral College is justified and right.

In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.

Good cookery is not an extravagance but an economy, and many a tasty dish is made by our Continental friends out of materials which would be discarded indignantly by the poorest tramp in Whitechapel.