Nobody in the United States knows what either a "meter" or a "kilogram" is. The whole reason why we fought the Cold War was so we wouldn't have to learn the metric system.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

The desire to retire early is an evidence of your current state of mind if you continue this way you will ‘retire early!!!!!

It’s easy to tune out your critics, but difficult to turn off your conscience.

Do not try to lead men who are unwilling to follow you; if their heart is not in it, you will never find the old spirit or the old courage.

When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'

If I give a student one-fourth of what he should know, I expect him to get the other three-fourths himself, otherwise I do not want him as a student.

I seem to have a knack for picking movies that go on to be cult favorites.

Heterosexual marriage is the heart of our civilization.

I have two homes in Malibu, a home in Canada that I'm building, and I just love pouring my heart out into this part of my life.

It was lovely to receive the affection from some of the supporters of our biggest rival, ... It doesn't happen to you very often in your career.

Through the machineries of greed, pettiness, and the abuse of power, love occurs.