Nobody sees people as people. It's all how they relate to my little group.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

As he drove away from his handiwork, knowing he'd left no survivors, the killer looked at the rising smoke and gave himself a pat on the back for another assignment well done...

Sometimes the only thing that can make someone feel misplaced is the sight of home.

Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise.

Never follow the crowd in what you do; the crowd has never produced anything of lasting quality, value or beauty.

I'm not interested in breaking news. I'm interested in telling the story of what's going on and then trying to figure it out.

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.

It turns out that, somehow, there are a tremendous number of things to be optimistic about.

Streams of melting snow.

But childhood prolonged, cannot remain a fairyland. It becomes a hell.

There are a million examples of not feeling the jazz, but using the jazz.