Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares?

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

The poor stay poor here because they do not save enough.

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.

Populism is dangerous.

Talking, it seemed to me, was the point of adult existence.

For a real knight, rescuing maidens would be an everyday event." ... "Perhaps a true knight saves himself for the right maiden

I would love Kate Middleton to be in 'Glee.' Wouldn't that be fantastic? That would be great.

We are all continually asked to learn how to ask for what we need, only to practice accepting what we're given.

I'm very, very in touch with my emotions.

I'm one Pia Zadora, the same way all the time. That's why I'm happy. It took me a long time to get to the point where could be myself all the time.

The gull sees farthest who flies highest