Non fiction? Non fiction?! Listen, reality is what got me into this mess in the first place.

Which is the true nightmare, the horrific dream that you have in your sleep or the dissatisfied reality that awaits you when you awake?

The most formidable adversary of evil is a persistent man with a loud conscience.

I don't imagine book elitists as my audience when writing. I dream about teachers, morticians and garbage men instead.

We may think of ourselves as static anti-heroes, but in reality we're dynamic protagonists just waiting for our courage to kick in.

I don't remember ever signing up for weird. It just sort of happened.

The best horror novels open up, "It was beautiful summer day and the smell of flowers emanated throughout the air.

A good editor can make a respectable writer remarkable, just like a good parent helps a child become amazing.

The man with the most guns survives the zombie apocalypse, but the man with the most books, locks the door and forgets it ever happened.

Never give your opinion on someone's writing unless they ask sincerely, and never ask for someone's opinion unless you're sincere.

Wrote my way out of the hood...thought my way out of poverty! Don't tell me that knowledge isn't power. Education changes everything.

Elegance is timeless

As the little boy said to the Sunday School teacher after being told the reason we are on Earth is to help others: "Then what are the others here for?"

If you're hanging around with nothing to do and the zoo is closed, come over to the Senate. You'll get the same kind of feeling and you won't have to pay.

If all the elements are arranged in the order of their atomic weights, a periodic repetition of properties is obtained. This is expressed by the law of periodicity.

Why do people who are good at families have to be smug and assume it is the only way to live. … Why can’t they be blamed for being bad at promiscuity?

The strong must protect the sweet.

I remember being mad about having pink and red shoes. I gew up envying other girls' pink and red shoes.

You are NOT what you eat, you are what you digest and assimilate.

Not an angel of the air, Bird melodious or bird fair, Be absent hence!