Normally, the job sucks but work is kinda fun, because you see your friends and flirt with girls and stuff.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

The nature of love requires a recipient one who will respond by choice to the love given

He said, first let's just unzip your religion down.

No bank should be allowed to become so big that it can blackmail governments.

You have to wait for a big star to come in and generate interest on a project, and now that has become me, which is an amazing blessing.

...being alone with him was like being in a room which someone had just violently left

Right now I really enjoy writing songs.

Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.

We are talking about creating a legal framework to regulate the production, transit and consumption of drugs.

If you're that depressed, reach out to someone. And remember, suicide is a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.

only to people!' shouted Rincewind. He drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.