Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.

We live in an age so legalistic, we find it hard to imagine someone wanting to obey their Lord simply because they love their God.

I travel pretty frequently, but a few things that are routine are going for a run, getting my green tea in the morning, and checking email... well, all the time!

Everyone I know who used to be in the intelligence community is moving into the corporate world.

Are you in fashion? You look like you're in fashion." "No," [Magnus] said. "I am fashion.

Whatever we refuse to recognize about ourselves has a way of rearing its head and making itself known when we least expect it.

Good taste is the enemy of comedy.

The one time of year when everyone wears a mask... not just me.

You know what make me laugh? Good, clean, honest humor. Not-trying-to-be-funny humor.

Making love is like hitting a baseball. You just gotta relax and concentrate.

Friendship is full of dregs.