Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it's the name of one of Obama's kids.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient.

Life will sometimes, test your emotions.

I dressed up like a crazy pharaoh you, man!

Gang members have joined the military since the mid-1800s.

When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.

Hollywood's just not funny.

[Donna] Brazile was giving [Donald] Trump no quarter.

Do your kids a favor: Love your spouse.

I like anchovies, and I don't tell everybody about them. Almost every time, they don't even notice.

Lift your head up high, and scream to the world. I know I am someone, and let the truth unfurl.