Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

If magic violates the fundamental laws of nature, they clearly weren't all that fundamental.

Do not attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself but do not relinquish it simply because someone else is not sure of you.

I hold a lot of things in. I'm always making sure everybody is okay. I usually don't rage; I usually don't curse. So for me, it's a great thing to be able to scream and say whatever I want.

People say that being kicked out of Metallica is what drove me to be better and faster in Megadeth, but i was faster and better than Metallica when i was in Metallica

To break the pentameter, that was the first heave

A person who forgoes the use of his symbolic skills is never really free.

If you're a misanthrope you stay at home. There are certain writers who really don't like other people. I'm not like that, I don't think.

Being a rock 'n' roll star ain't a part-time gig.

On rookie Alex Selivanov, Yes the guy can score you 40 goals. Yes I love it. What I don't want is him causing 60.