Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.

Trying to tear down the past prohibits you from building up your future.

One of the things I love about acting is other actors, looking into their eyes, and working off them, and listening and responding to them.

Study men, not historians.

I started piano lessons when I was four; I was being classically trained at the Colburn School.

Then how come everyone's making like everything that isn't important is very important, all the while they're so busy pretending what's really important isn't important at all?

Among the repulsions of atheism for me has been its drastic uninterestingness as an intellectual position.

She feared the unknown as we all do, and her ignorance made the unknown infinitely vast.

It's the gloomy things that need our help, if everything in the garden is sunny, why meddle?

I've spent a lot of time in prisons, first doing legal work and later, teaching.

A film should be somewhat personal. I think that whatever you create you have to be true to yourself and create something that feels right to you.