Nothing, believe me, nothing is more satisfying to me personally than getting a great idea and then beatin' it to death.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

These are the advantages of travel, that one meets so many men whom one would otherwise never meet, and that one feeds as it were upon the complexity of mankind

Well family is obviously the most important. There was a time when I thought football was the most important.

I should not like to preach to a congregation who all believed as I believe. I would as lief preach to a basket of eggs in their smooth compactness and oval formality.

I shall know you, secrets by the litter you have left and by your bloody footprints.

More is lost by indecision than wrong decision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity. It will steal you blind.

The secret to living the life of your dreams is to START living the life of your dreams.

I always find film-making a pleasurable experience.

I am often asked which picture is my favorite. This is like asking a mother which child she likes the most.

What a ready passport wealth gives its possessor to the good opinions of this world!

It would be more interesting to learn from children, than try to teach them how to behave, how to live and how to function.