Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

You picked the wrong girl to dominate, Dracula.

It seems I can go from elated, embarrassed, angry, and back to embarrassed in four comments flat.

[George Everett Macdonald was] a valiant soldier for human liberty.

Is there any stab as deep as wondering where and how much you failed those you loved?

Rationalism is an adventure in the clarification of thought.

There are people who would never have been in love, had they never heard love spoken of.

Arizona, our beautiful state, was built on mining.

The great are only great because we are on our knees. Let us rise!

If ... it is not in my power to arrive at the knowledge of any truth, I may at least do what is in my power, namely, suspend judgement.

The more I see of dogs, the more I like children.