Nothing important has ever come out of San Francisco, Rice-a-Roni aside.

A Madagascar Hissing Roach chasing Jerry Lewis. That would be a really neat treat.

Once you put yourself in the hands of the government, you could end up in Utah.

Life is one big minefield, and the only place that isn't a minefield is the place they make the mines.

Living well and ripping your enemy's still-beating heart out with your bare hands is the best revenge.

You only live once and, usually, not even then.

I don’t think television will ever be perfected until the viewer can press a button and cause whoever is on the screen’s head to explode.

Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy.

Licorice is the liver of candy.

If there were a Mount Rushmore of American humor, Terry Southern would be the mountain they'd carve it from

The transformation scene, where man is becoming insect and insect has become at least man and beyond that - a flying, godlike, shimmering, diaphanous, beautiful creature.

One day My father taught me a ‎lesson "never compete with someone who sold the world for his ‎dream"... I have learned the lesson and decided to be this one so, no one can compete with me.

The difference between a theist and an atheist is the degree to which God has revealed himself to them.

The self can only be realized, and the realization can only happen, out of personal experience.

In action be primitive in foresight a strategist.

Maybe the best thing you'll ever do, you haven't even thought of yet.

There's a whole generation coming up behind us that was engaged, inspired, worked for change during the course of my presidency, saw what was possible.

I'm what I am and I'm what I'm not. And I'm sure happy with what I've got. I live to love and laugh a lot. And that's all I need.

Guys understand a waistline. They understand a silhouette.

I love people and I love to be around people.