Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Be willing to be unliked and ridiculed in order to speak the words of the One who matters most.

Poor people do not go on holiday

History warns us ... that it is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.

Since even the most fastidious among us can rarely escape hearing salacious local gossip, it is as well to enjoy what cannot be avoided.

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

Permit us to labor on in obscurity, and at the end of twenty years you may hear from us again.

We continue to experience a steep growth curve and positive response from customers that are aggressively transitioning their procurement processes to leverage our technologies' benefits.

If you refuse to be happy until you have no problems or challenges, you will probably never be happy!

I've been playing Texas Hold 'em and other forms of poker since I was about 12.

To be honest, I'm one of the least-technical guitar players around. I just want a guitar to feel good and sound good. That's it, period.