Nothing is more irritating than not being invited to a party you wouldn''t be seen dead at

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

The eagle may soar; beavers build dams.

The US has not imposed democracy in Yemen, its people have.

The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

The government is shutting down the coal industry, they say it's cheaper to draw nuclear power off the French grid and cheaper to buy coal from Colombia.

The old author knew all too well that the imagination was a top cause for missing good meals.

The new Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is now Pope Francis the 1st. Francis was not his first choice for a name. But the Vatican wisely talked him out of Pope Boo Boo.

There are two ways to learn anything. An interesting way and a boring way. I like the interesting way.

The one who doesn't fall, doesn't stand up.

There are no opportune times for a penalty, and this is not one of those times.

Death is not the end. Death is an ocean on all sides of our lives. Deep and dark and cold, and anything but empty.

The things that really matter don't mix with idle chatter.

Fortune ought to be a National Endowment for the Arts Jazz Master.

Slow buds the pink dawn like a rose From out night's gray and cloudy sheath; Softly and still it grows and grows, Petal by petal, leaf by leaf.

The most powerful person in the world is the story teller. The storyteller sets the vision, values and agenda of an entire generation that is to come.