Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Love of the soul is happiness to the spirit.

It does not seem to me that the steps which would be needed to make Britain - and others - more comfortable in their relationship in the European Union are inherently so outlandish or unreasonable.

Nobody can be successful if he doesn't love his work, love his job.

All my lies are only wishes / I know I would die if I could come back new.

I love to see new things, and I love to learn. I always learn so much when I travel - that's the best thing.

Technology has no function except to save labor. Yet how often do we hear that the purpose of new capital formation is to create jobs?

I, as a human, do not become the power or love or wisdom of God; I merely contain Him who is all these, and everything.

I leave from where the apostle arrived.

I will live this day as if it is my last

Acquire a peaceful spirit, and thousands around you will be saved.