Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Stop complaining if you did started your life slower than the rest, Pick yourself up and move

Only a fool would dream of riches when what is rarest are moments

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.

Thought is creating divisions out of itself and then saying that they are there naturally.

Success in confronting terrorism on the regional or international levels is contingent upon addressing its root causes and protecting the right of peoples under foreign occupation to resistance

Men have still not realized that letting women do so much of the work for so little reward makes a man in the house an expensive luxury rather than a necessity.

God's plans for your life far exceed the circumstances of your day.

It's a hard thing to hold a civil conversation after recalling that one party has used a Taser on the other, so both of them finished the walk in silence.

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

I go off into Dublin and two days later I'm spotted walking by the Liffey with a whole bunch of new friends.