Nothing surprises me. After Donald Trump, nothing matters, does it?

I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.

A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!

I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.

Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?

Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.

If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.

Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.

I can't not put humor in a book.

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.

Relaxation is the absence of worry.

Stay close 2 those who r by ur side in happy times, because they do not harbor jealousy or envy in their hearts, only joy 2 c u happy...

He speaks the words of a distant prophet as though He has written the words Himself.

When the watermelons were as large as a child's head, the women boiled them, but they collapsed into a tasteless green mush that no one could eat, not the children, not the cow.

Some fool aims to go to heaven

There was nothing new in sitting on this dock, on this or that wooden bench, watching for his boat to come. In some ways, she was always waiting for him.

I think we deserve people who really, really love us.

I'm a sportsman. You know, I go out clay shooting and put three shells in.

Less coin, less care.

And I started to cry again, realizing that it must be changing him, too, this man who was kind enough to be a soul but strong as only a human could be.

Let the farmer forevermore be honored in his calling; for they who labor in the earth are the chosen people of God.