Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

The next time you feel really good, just keep feeling that way for the rest of your life.

We do not see things as they are, nor do we even see them as we are, but only as we believe our story to have been.

We have a saying in Guns N Roses: When somebodys gonna get yelled at, theyre gonna get the corn.

I always dreamt of being a basketball player. A dream that only I believed in.

I might be doing a lot more theater, which is kind of what I love, but there's simply no time for.

All the nationalists are wasms - except one, the most powerful of this century, indeed, of the entire democratic age, which is nationalism.

It's tough to figure out how do we compete in Europe and North America, when obviously a living wage for us is very different than a living wage in Indonesia.

My own feeling is that a corporation has no right to have a political or social influence.

You will not become dependent on the people you love. You will share - and sharing is beautiful.

It's impossible to go through life not offending people. All you have to do is basically have an opinion on anything, and you're gonna offend people.