Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Your pain is trying to tell you something. It is not an accident, a curse, or an inconvenience. Pain is a form of self-communication.

Privilege is when you can afford to sit back and criticize others who have to fight for the things you take for granted.

Love is not about liking, loving and caring, but appreciation, understanding and devotion.

Being number one doesn't mean you are the best.

Always being there was the essential secret for a wife.

It is sure the hardest science to forget!

They say in the darkest night there is a light beyond

People want to give back. People want to do good

A musical education is necessary for musical judgement. What most people relish is hardly music; it is rather a drowsy reverie relieved by nervous thrills.

Sound is one of the best most powerful tools. All the ancient traditions confirm that in the beginning was the word. Sound sort of predates form.