Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

I just think technology is pretty amazing. Like all things that are great, you have to be responsible about how much you use it.

Music, in the past few years... anything singable or understandable is square.

The dyed-in-the-wool teacher takes everything seriously only with respect to his students--himself included.

However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are.

A spirit is not necessarily purer, because it is disembodied.

One can lead a nation only by helping it see a bright outlook. A leader is a dealer in hope.

I'm generous. I give good tips. It's just - the way I live my life, ironically enough, is: I don't want anything. I'm not a consumer. I don't crave objects.

Our only concern should be to keep the fight [for souls] aggressive and to win victory regardless of cost or sacrifice.

Passion paralyzes good taste.

I don't have to play football.