Notice, for example, that people who talk about "the joys of childhood" are always adults. Only an adult, utterly remote from the reality of childhood, could suppose it is time of joys.

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.

The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems.

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

By worrying about the future, We will convolute our present lives.

You exist only because God wills that you exist.

To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.

Life is only this place this time and these people right here and now.

We're breaking all of the rules, even our own rules, and how do we do that? By leaving plenty of room for X quantities.

I'm pampered like you wouldn't believe.

Logic is the kingdom of the unexpected. To think logically means to be continually amazed.

Far from being magisterial in its objectivity, science was conditioned by history, society, and the prejudices of scientists.

You will look in vain to see Donald Trump ever taking responsibility for anybody and apologize.

My biggest fear ever is to be involved in a plane crash, so when that happened... well, I'm just thankful to be alive! I'm just grateful to be here at all.