Novelists are people who have discovered that they can dampen their neuroses by writing make-believe. We will keep on doing that no matter what, while offering loftier explanations.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

It's easier to love a woman when you can't understand a word she's saying.

Don't give a gift with expectation to get but if you have got a gift always try to give.

Mind Your Qi, Activate Your Luck!

We must quit thinking we know everything, and quit placing "knowledge" over kindness and compassion.

Football is violence and cold weather and college rye.

It's interesting how young poets think of death while old fogies think of girls.

Always choose the hardest way, on it you will not find opponents

As one gets older, one can get tired. But only when your heart gives out does your strength give in. For me, all this is an affair of the heart.

Nothing increases happiness like quiet time. The truth is, the only moments that make you laugh or happy are seconds of stillness.

The historic function of a Senator from Oregon is to drive all the other Senators mad.