Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

The beauty of the future can only be seen by those who are very optimistic about the precious things life has to offer.

[Truman] didn’t want to fight the guy, whatever he was—alien, vampyr or douchebag.

If you confront anyone who has lied with the truth, he will usually admit it - often out of sheer surprise. It is only necessary to guess right to produce your effect.

Music the fiercest grief can charm, And fate's severest rage disarm. Music can soften pain to ease, And make despair and madness please; Our joys below it can improve, And antedate the bliss above.

I understand that anything actors are doing, good or bad, is motivated by fear.

I write about African women, that's really my topic. I have no shame or qualm in it because it's a very underrepresented topic, which is part of the reason I started to write.

Hatred is self-punishment. Hatred it the coward's revenge for being intimidated.

Are you looking for a Negro who won't fight back?

If a man doesn't know death, he doesn't know life.

The Taliban could take our pens and books, but they couldn’t stop our minds from thinking.