Now, I think the people who are still doing stand-up are doing it because they love stand-up.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

In the name of being social, we learn to ignore our natural instinct.Society keeps dictating do's and don'ts which we keep obeying day in and day out.

Be careful—my heart is broken—and you could fall in

The Rolls Royce was the real first car. It wasn't the first new car I got, but it was the first real car I bought that's like, 'Wow, I got this.'

The only and dearest relationship is the mind's relationship with itself.

The atheist is not interested in anything except attacks on atheism.

Mediocrity in politics is not to be despised. Greatness is not needed.

Individuals who could not form cooperative alliances, on average, died sooner and left fewer children. And so we are the descendants of the successful cooperators.

If you want love, love somebody.

There isn't any real good reason for fighting except self-defense.

Security without freedom means slavery.