Now and then I become conscious of having the reputation of being one of the great drinkers, if not one of the great drunks, of our time.

The first, indeed the only, requirement of a diet is that it should lose you weight without reducing your alcoholic intake by the smallest degree.

The rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them.

If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.

Only a world without love strikes me as instantly and decisively more terrible than one without music.

If you are using an adverb, you have got the verb wrong.

A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn't allow it to spoil your lunch.

Self criticism must be my guide to action, and the first rule for its employment is that in itself it is not a virtue, only a procedure.

It is natural and harmless in English to use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way.

Women are really much nicer than men: No wonder we like them.

If I'm going to sing like someone else, then I don't need to sing at all.

More you know, better advice you give. Less you know, more advice you give.

Reward theory. Some people just aren't worth your tears.

The only thing for a pacifist to do is to find a substitute for war.

I always work on my abs, every single day. As Miss Universe, exercising your abdominal muscles is mandatory!

If you would wed, wed. If not, take your pleasure where you find it. There's little enough of it in this world." - Oberyn

I was a pretty nice kid. Kind of quiet, but quiet in terms I wasn't going out and setting fire to anything. I had a big mouth and I was creative type, you know.

In general, I do not agree with spying against one's country.

I never cut class. I loved getting A's, I liked being smart. I liked being on time. I thought being smart is cooler than anything in the world.

Such is Life [Executed by hanging.]