Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

Everything does not happen for a reason. Believing this does not ease the pain for anyone. It hides it.

If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone.

Be fully awake in the sacred moment.

I caution against beginning or ending a quotation with ellipses

I love him who is ashamed when the dice fall in his favour, and who then asketh: "Am I a dishonest player?" - for he is willing to succumb.

Old houses, I thought, do not belong to people ever, not really, people belong to them.

You cannot grow unless you are willing to change. You will never improve yourself if you cling to what used to be.

The flame of family can warm us and at the same time be a perpetual pilot light to rekindle us.

I just love actors, and I've always loved actors. I empathize with their job. Everyone thinks it's easy, and it ain't. To be that vulnerable and brave on camera is tough.

Wikipedia gets a lot of things wrong.