Now he knew: They were real. Who’d make up a thing like this? Okay, one of them was a cheese that rolled around of its own accord, but nobody was perfect.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

That casual glance was the beginning of a cataclysm of love that had still not ended half a century later.

I'm an artist. I'm an artist and I'm going to make art! Art arty art art.

Talent does not search for the person, in fact the person needs to search for the talent inside him and take it out to show the world.

After six years at Le Cirque, I decided to start my own business. I opened Daniel at 76th Street in May 93.

Whenever you are dealing with someone or something of unknown value the first one who places a value on it establishes its worth.

I don't really recognise success. I don't see myself as on an upwardly mobile trajectory. I see myself as on the edge of a cliff about to fall off.

While many governments and well-meaning individuals have redefined marriage, the Lord has not.

I could be 80 tomorrow and I'd still be okay. It's all the way you think about things.

I believe that the death penalty is the ultimate deterrent to violent crime...period.

Fezzik's in trouble, bubble bubble, His brain is just not in the pink, His mind is rubble, rub-a-dub double, Because everyone needs him to think.