Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

All is pattern, all life, but we can't always see the pattern when we're part of it.

Some Argentines, without means, do it, People say, in Boston , even beans do it. Let's do it, let's fall in love .

I cannot wait for all the mistakes we have yet to make

One cat just leads to another.

We never really own a dog as much as she owns us.

Well, since I produce and pay for my own albums, it is the ultimate freedom.

My art was not an answer - it was a question.

Relieve stress through hysterical screaming.

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be.

Is it not clear, however, that bliss and envy are the numerator and denominator of the fraction called happiness?