Now there's a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

When you understand the mechanincs of stress and master the techniques to manipulate someone's fears and dreams, you will be powerful.

I would just say that human beings are stronger together. Relying on someone else is not a sign of weakness it shows strength that you're able to accept that you need help.

The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.

Romantic comedies are particularly hard to make.

Law not served by power is an illusion; but power not ruled by law is a menace which our nuclear age cannot afford.

We've always been ready for female superheroes. Because women want to be them and men want to do them.

If man has learned to see and know what really is, he will act in accordance with truth, Epistemology is in itself ethics, and ethics is epistemology.

I think a lot of Hollywood is in retreat right now trying to figure out how to make money and make the safest bets.

Courage to be who you are is the cousin of loving the Divine, yourself and others.

Both the forces of good and evil will keep the universe alive for us, until we awake from our dreams and give up this building of mud pies.