Now, they say that New Zealand is beautiful and I do not know -- because after 22 hours on a plane any landmass would be beautiful.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Understanding comes with compassion and compassion comes with truthfulness

No man in America ever strove more, and more successfully first to bring about a Congress in 1765, and then to support it ever afterwards than myself.

Who cares? If he is good to you? None of us ever find enough kindness in the world, do we?

When I die I'm going to dance first in all the galaxies...I'm gonna play and dance and sing.

If my stories can touch you, make you laugh, forget unhappy things, or even give you that 'good job' feeling, then I'll be super, super happy!

The idea that education can ever be value-neutral is absurd.

Tenderness is a deeper instinct than seduction, which is why it is so hard to give up hope.

I love you now as I write this, and I love you now as you read this

I have always had, as I know many people have, a singular passion for Australia. I do love the sunburnt country, its ancient landscapes, its exhilarating reaches of sand and sea.

We think we have solved the mystery of creation. Maybe we should patent the universe and charge everyone royalties for their existence.