Nowadays, to be frank, every week is a good week for freakshow television. we might start asking, Why are there so many freaks? And why do they all want to be on television?

We must recall the most important of humanity guidelines: Be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.

I love puffins. They are small, round gothic birds, and their babies are called pufflings.

The world is difficult and we are all breakable. So just be kind.

My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it.

When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.

I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit.

It's always sunny above the clouds. Always. Every day on earth - every day I have ever had - was secretly sunny, after all.

When I hear women talking about how their wedding is going to be/was the best day of their life, I can’t help but think, You just haven’t taken enough MDMA in a field at 3 a.m., love.

I like a little bit of revolution. I think it's a very good hobby for a young woman. Better than squash.

Flyaway, problem hair is the enemy of feminism, and was probably invented by the Man to crush Susan Sontag.

Time is an illusion-to orators.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth where moth and rust doth corrupt and where thieves break through and steal.

Much of the debate over global warming is predicated on fear, rather than science.

The past is a kind of future that has already happened.

If you want to do what you want to do, you have to look a certain way.

You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.

Resolutions are exhausting. Embrace ease.

You can't have your privacy violated if you don't know your privacy is violated.

Scientology is probably one of the most misunderstood things, and it's sad that it's so misunderstood.

You cannot be in pretend for people to like you.