Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself, " the captain announces from the helm, "and the occasional man-eating monster.

That is not what I was saying, you crazy twit!""Cut it out! You do not to play the I'm-so-dark-and twisty-I deserve-to-be-punished card.

The more my brain was fed, the hungrier it became.

There is nothing like first-hand evidence.

Stay positive but stay focused. Sometimes things can distract you and you don't want to be distracted on the journey to that mountain top.

I'm dissatisfied with every record the Beatles ever f***ing made. There ain't one of them I wouldn't remake.

Thomas Muller is not the best in the world. But he is the best in what he does

Cry out loud once. Look at the mirror & shake it off. I've cried like that before & others will have times like that too. Cheer up. You're not alone.

Naming can limit as well as empower.

I often write into recipes techniques that I learned in the restaurant kitchen. There are ways of organizing your prep and so on that are immensely useful. Those are woven into all the recipes I do.